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May 05 Time touchs allSo the time is passing by... May has come and it is going by already so fast. I have two doctor appts this week.. One with the surgen and the other with my doctor. I am hoping all results come back good... Tait is now crawling.. it is amazing how quickly they learn and laugh and love. I cant picture life without him. He is what I live for. The wheather has been very nice and I have been out walking... still have that 25lbs on me I need gone... but no matter how much I walk and exercise... it doesnt seem to want to leave me.... lol... Lincoln and Alexandra only have 2 months of school left then they are going to their moms for the summer, Colin and I then begin more renovations. Meaning painting every room in our house etc... and maybe and hopefully putting a back deck on the house for a new selling feature... Which we dont plan on selling right away.. maybe in the next year who knows. Colin loves his new job working for the MD of Bonnyville.. pay is great and he is inlove with it... I am so excited for this weekend.. I live for it lol.. j/k..... We are having date night... which we actually never have had... We are maybe going golfing during the day which I know will be funny cause I cant swing.. then we are going out to dinner and then a movie.. then back to our place and..... lol.... playing cards.. j/k... No it should be exciting.. my mom and tim are coming this weekend to take tait for the night.. WOOT! other then that... not much is going on.. I hate the neighbor hood we live in.. Someone and I WONT SAY any names.....cain...... set the back forest on fire ON PURPOSE.. and almost burned down a house...... also they have been stealing everything and anything.. I am paying 400 a month to rent the land our house is on.... and I cant leave shit on it... like really.. cause it may get stolen...... and the cops.. have done shit all!!!! i mean showing up when someone calls... well that would be a start... but other then that.. all is well.. just watching tait play and i am gonna get ready for my day... May go for a walk unsure yet..... I cannot believe how fast time is passing by.... it is wow... For those I dont speak to anymore.. for our own reasons or maybe urs or mine..... I hope all is going good.. and good things have come to you.. and you have found happiness..... that everything does happen for a reason and holding a grudge.... only brings on hate.... You guys know who you are..... Even if we havent spoken in a few years.... or maybe months.... just take care... and you do cross my mind and I pray your dreams come true.... Anyways... new pictures soon!!!! take care everyone January 06 UPDATEWell I am sitting at home, and tait is taking a nap:) I just finished cleaning the house and thinking about getting a shower lol..
Lincoln has decided to stay for the remaining of the year! Which is awsum. So Alexandra and Lincoln are at school, and Colin
is at work. I need a nap lol... Christmas was good, got to meet Colins brother and see his other one. My mom took tait for
alittle while... lol.. too long.. We are making our way there this weekend. Today I have some shopping to do. Anyways this
is just a quick update. I am on facebook more than this.. July 05 no idea... lol..let the darkness take you over just one more time.. as the dead air escapes from the mouth that has fed so many lies.. and you run to hide from.. what once is... knowing.. it no longer remains.. holding on to the pieces that float around as each piece has lost its place.. and walk alittle futher... and u shall see... the truth....... no one can tell ya.. u gotta find it for urself.. May 05 Bored as me?It's saturday may 5th... and i must say its been a boring yet relaxing day.. I have not left my room yet and its 8:19.. I have been sleeping and chatting.. I must say though I am retardedly hungery.. But meh.. So far this weekend has been off to a terrible begining... well thats a lie.. half of friday was awsum.. up till hmmm 1:30am.. Long night..... but I got a good nights rest.. somewhat.. around 4ish am.. lol.. Umm overall things havent been too bad.. Im living...just waiting for the next exciting thing to happen.. (playing eye spy...)... no but meh... lol.. wow i have no idea what to write.. Missing my friends from nova scotia tons!!! its crazy.. GRR... Been looking at going to school not this year but next... save me money!!!!!!! looking into getting a place... I can actually set up the couch set and 61" tv.. its sad really.. its just sitting in the back of the store... in a box.. it needs to live!!!!!!!!! Maybe I should go outside:).. lol.. a bit crazy right now.. hmmmm Well Im gonna maybe put some new pictures up than.. maybe get something to eat...im soo comfortable right now... meow.... lol Well if you actually read this whole thing you must be just as bored as me.. which is sweet.. im not alone!!! April 19 Wonders.. good old timesIm searching for something that people say dont exist.. And I hope im not the only one that blindly thinks so.... Please tell me Im not..A Life where money isn't everything, yet you dont have to worry about it. A Life, where we work so we can live to the fullest, rather than have a life filled with work.. That not everything is a busy schedule.. That Love overpowers anything and everything. A Life that things can be replaced but your love ones. A Life that is filled with freedom and time to realize how wonderful everything is.. Im searching.. I want this... As I lay my head on the pillow that has lost the smell I grave so much. As I pull the blankets over my breakable body.. I snuggle into them, holding on to hope.. Knowing that some day.. some how I will find this.. A Life.. That i can do what I want.. A Life.. that is worth living.. I want my days to be filled with laughes, experiences, emotions; beyond words, plant a garden that will grow, a chance to see the world that we live in.. A chance.. at something very few have.. I search to find.. dead ends.. A Life that doesnt involve catch phrases, or lies.. A Life that you live.. Sometimes I waste hours thinking of this..I cant find a reason to let go... to let go of my dream.. to have a job I love.. to have a family that i love.. to have a place to call home.. 0 out of 3.. lol..... give it time.. if you want anything you gotta search.. find a time of love and laughter. Find a time.. to experience... A time to let those know they are first.. and they are what makes everything else.. worth doing.. And sometimes I scream... wondering.. am I the only person that wants this.. and thinks.. that it could be possible?...
and these dayz are passing has we are all growing up so fast yet still have the same mind set..as we once had back then.. Ill go around in circles wondering if im the only one who feels this way..wondering does anyone remember the times phones didnt exist... the time when waking up early wasnt an obligation.. when judging people was something rare... and the times were just filled with laughes...when smilies were the only thing u could see on the people around u and a broken heart didnt exist. And tag was actually fun and spot light was the coolest... and driving was something we pretended to do..that drinking wasnt even thought about cause u were already on such a high.. relationships were just friends or do u like like her/him... As the world spins my head begins to hurt,. thinking of how things changing... yet we are the same people that all had good times together... as we seperate... and move on to things.. that we call bigger and better.. or for some of us.. isnt that much different from high school.. we think of those times... but do we actually think of how good we had it..when plans were made that day.. grab the fishing rod and just head down... climbing through the woods.. when days of the week didnt matter. That almost everything was entertaining. Good times.... nice to remember once in awhile. March 23 And The Thin Line... Breaks..And I needed you, I needed a touch, or word... to fix this pain that seems to settle so deep inside.. I needed the thought
you were there, I needed you... I needed a comfort... and I sit here... spacing out moments that once meant the world..
The darkness sets in, as the light only becomes a passed thought and I begin to believe that, this is the way things are.
The things you want the most but didnt know you want, will be taken from you. The things you thought you wanted, and realize
you no longer do, will be given to you. The things you love, you will push away, and somehow the things you hate, you will become.. and I fall.. alittle deeper into this emotion... called self-pity... yet i refuse to admit.. that maybe Im not strong enough for this.. that, a smile is all I got at this moment... a broken, fake smile.... a smile yet you seem to accept for a pass.. but when I look in a mirror and my eyes reveal that almost everyone else can see, but keeps quiet... I begin to cry... for the moments... that will never come... I cry for.. for the moments I lost out on.... and yes, time shall come again.. but now.. I needed you.... I needed a touch, I needed a word... to make this pain.. sub-side... to make it liveable... and I fall.. deeper, only to realize... i have hit rock bottom and no one will ever know the depth... because I allow them to see only what I know they will allow themselves to see... and the light becomes a theory... that people once spoke of.... and the lights go out... and I sit here..... why..... hope.... and that begins to become...... distance..
I needed the knowledge, I wasnt alone.......
Im way passed gone.. March 09 not too sure.. just gotta read...i sit here in a dark room with tons of words going through my mind and in order to write them down to make sense..... well I dont know if I can.. I sit here thinking of moments, moments that have already passed by... moments I get lost in.. with the sun shining and the water fall next to us.... the long road ahead... I sit here... yet I feel as though i travel around the world in a matter of seconds.... that the touch is real... the smile is true.. and the words.. are heard... the laughes as the sound of our cups clink together... and everyone is over joyed... knowing they will always remember this as the good times.. the yells that could have been heard for miles.. the sun shining as I can smell the grass... or the cold breeze hitting me as I stumble over rocks.. to go pee.. and cant find my way back.. the smell of camp fire... in my hair the next morning.. I sit here..... remembering moments that are sooo alive... yet.. passed.... or the song that hits you... and u get lost.. as u slow danced in the living room... "only 17".. or remembering the feeling of driving on that road.. after work, with good music on the radio and knowing ur going to a safe place.... the excitment that drove u to finish quicker.. or the wind in ur hair as u pedal faster.. and faster.. to know that in a few mins u can sit in ur space..... or as you cruise in the car with tunes and the words of girls gossip.. the laughes that were endless... this is alive... im sitting here in a dark room with flashes of my life.... knowing they arent alive anymore.. yet they act as though they are now... I sit here... remembering how life was... and i snap back to now... as time goes on..... these moments become distance... yet... they are exactly where I left them.... and I will smile at those moments... and hang them high... The lives that I have entered... the people who have impacted who I am.. the people that have been there.. through and through.. the random person I never will see again.. yet.. made such a moment on me.... I sit here in a dark room..... with tons of words going through my mind, the pictures flashing.. as if a movie is playing.. am I crazy? Am I lost? Am I just over seeing? Over looking at what has gone by.. Living in the past?.. I ask...... is it any of these.. or maybe Im just a person reflecting on life.. realizing I had it good.. I had the moments where I was on top of the world.. i had moments that no one will ever speak of, I had moments where I was crazy... I had moments where i felt like dying... I had moments of regret.. I have felt all emotions.. all feelings.. all situations.. yet everyday I learn more and more... I have made mistakes on purpose.. I have let lose to know the feeling of being me... As this movie comes to an end.. another chapter begins.. I sit here... I saw ur eyes.. and fell hard.... I saw the smile that once I thought was lost... and now...... look at the world... not as a whole.... not just yet.. but look at you... look at him... look at her... and slowly.. open the picture... turn the light on.. see... I am here, because I was offered a window and a door. and sometimes I took the door and other times I crawled through the window... I am here because Of the choices I made till this day.. I am here.. because I want to be.. So am I crazy? Am I living in the past.. am I over looking it.. over seeing it?,...... or just reflecting on life?.... I Have meant the world to people and people have meant the world to me.. I have had... passing people.. I Have someone... I have people...who I love and care for... and there is people who love me and care for me..... and the sun will arise once again... and life with continue but for this moment I chose to pause it.. I chose to look at the past and see where I am now.. for regrets are just mistakes u knew u were making.. I have.... lived... but there is sooo much more to see.. And I sit here in the dark,....... as moments pass me by, they are never lost....... cause they are always where I left them...........
and I know u mean what u say, I see the trueness in ur eyes, but do u see the fear in mine? the worries that run through not only my mind but urs,........ I see ur life, i see ur love, I see you... and the fear is no longer alone, it is shared between us... yet I know all will be well.. and the warmth....... makes it final..
February 03 NewsIts been a while since I wrote in this.. I guess I have been busy..Alot well somewhat alot has taken place...
Im living with my dad, renting a room.. for those who dont know.. Kevin and I are wonderful. Been keeping in touch with a few and now working at Dq, and also at the threatre still.. Things arent too bad at all..Ups and downs.. but over all life is working out good..Going to visit me mom and tim in a few weeks.. Kevin is coming:D... Also kevin and I found out some big news.... I am.... 8 4/7 weeks pregnant....Most of you know.. those that dont... Well it came to a shock for me as well... But... Picture this.. Being with someone you once were with when you were younger and wanted to continue to be with but moved away.. kept in good touch.. Just like a best friend.. ups and downs.. Someone.. who u helped and they helped u... for 3 years... .. Someone who has grown over the years.. Not a temper in sight.. SOmeone who believes in almost the same things..Commucation.. is key.. Puts up with ur mood swings here and there.. and nicely askes u about it... Expresses their feelings to youm holds you and loves to cuddle you.. SOmeone who when they look at you.. U still go weak in the knees.. That u feel 100% urself when ur with them.. NO 100% NO judging~~ knows ur dirty little secrets... ur past.. and Cares about u.. no matter what... now picture that..Doesnt get sick of u.. Accepting if one day ur clingly and also feels like that once in awhile also.. Someone who u have tried to be with over the years but timing was never right... Well.. that... that is what makes me feel.. good about everything.. I at first felt like I was living a dream.. dont get me wrong.. we have our downs.. but how we handle them.. wow... So.. yea... I was scared and a bit am.. but.. I can say 100%.. Im not alone at all...
well.. things are well..cold lake is COLD.. and Id like to move somewhere else..in good time though.. Well.. take care everyone.. January 12 not much to writeWell, im moved in with my dad now, rent is cheaper so thats good.. Ankle is all better.. Working at a movie threatre part time, whenever i choose to and also Dq.. start monday.. Hahaha yeah another dq... o well.. pay isnt bad and i got the hours i wanted.. Monday-Friday.. 9:30-5pm.. So... it works for now.. overall things are going well.. Alittle scared.. waiting for it to all come crashing down before me.. Havent been feeling good lately.. well 2days... but today just slept all day.. cause i felt stomach sick.. hmmmm.. not sure what to really write about... O, Kevin and I went to edmonton last weekend.. and it was a blast.. so that was fun.. And we are gonna go again in April.. for longer.. so looking forward to that.. till then saving money lol... umm. things are good.. of course things could always be better but if u focus one what could be better you lose sight of what is right now.. so.. basically just enjoying and living.... Not liking this cold wether... lol.. Cant wait to go camping this summer!!! tons of that! and swimming... ooo i dream of the day... well ill keep this short and sweet...I will post some edmonton pictures once i get them developed. Right now im gonna try to post some random ones.. if not ill just had them to the edmonton one i will make.. till then hope all is well.. December 24 No Title... just.. more than words..NOTE: AFTER READING THIS.. THE ENTRY: PEOPLE THANKS.. IS UPDATED..
My Wish-Rascal Flatts
i hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left, i hope you always forgive, and you never regret, and you help somebody every chance you get, oh, you find god's grace, in every mistake, and you always give more than you take (Time Has Gone By... But I'll always Care) well im in fort mcmurray right now.. for christmas of course.. its nice to be home.. I think.. well its not really home.. nova scotia is.. and its really different and how things are done here is different, but in all honestly... its not bad... my mom is sooo happy and looking young.. and its soo good to chill wit greg and amanda... lol and jelly donut... ummm... cold lake is going well.. ankle is almost better...Im happy... and the last few days been able to talk to some friends so... it was nice to hear from them.. Im sitting here in fort mack, with head phones on talking to someone that has opened my eyes up many times in such a short time.. but.. good friend.. umm... as we all know i am not the biggest christmas fan but.. im trying my best to enjoy it.. i like to buy presents so... spent a good amount of time and money today doing so.. right now listen to the song hurt... the version by Jonny Cash. Much emotion i must say.. brings tears to the eyes.. Its sad to think most people will never experience or feel such an emotion that is expressed..soo strongly... or.. really grasp it.... Life is so short i am realizing, but making the most of every day... Life seems to be falling into place... slowly but.. i can see it... alittle bitter sad sometimes.. but.. that comes with change and growing... The people in my life have changed dramically in this last year.. and im amazed at everyone and how many things have changed... but.. slowly i will learn to accept the things i cannot change and change the things i can.. but.. im learning to be less stress and not sweat the small stuff... "people that have everything arent the happiesnt people, its the people that make the most of what they got and enjoy every second... " Im thankful.. Im thankful I have such wonderful people in my life that care for me, and even if sometimes i think they have forgotton they always surprise me... im... thankful for having such a wonderful family that i am now getting to know.. and a wonderful person in my life to share memories with.. im a lucky person.. and i think sometimes i forget that.. i have to go but i will try to update this before i leave back to cold lake....
P.S.. got to see some friends today which was nice!!!
Ok Im back..
well Chruch.. was.. cut short, my sister fainted... due to the heat and having to stand.. I bailed... with my brother.. after 2 people steped on my BAD foot... i went to the truck and fell to sleep.... but yeah I just like started crying... But she is doing ok and is well.. my stomach is soo sore, BLOATED... anyways.. overall things are well... tired and i know tomorrow is gonna be a long day.. but meh... So its 11:33pm now... i keep updating this over the night... honestly i got alot on my mind and it doesnt feel like christmas at all... i just dont have the christmas cheer in me.... sorry fellows.. What happened to my sister was something small but i cant get over the feeling i got... i dont know what id do if something happen to her... My family drives me insane... yet their happiness is most important to me... Lately i have been scared of life... and not making the most of it.. or it ending too soon.. though i do think everything happens for a reason doesnt mean I will always like that reason.. im scared that when im 44 i wont be happy with the life in which i chose.. but i guess all we can do is... lay out all the infortmation we have now.. to make the best choice... and time plays it all out... I am very grateful.. and do consider myself very lucky.... i just... want everyone to feel what i do.. though it doesnt feel like christmas... and this christmas is and will be different.. its the first christmas without glen. my step dad, after 14 years... so.. I miss him alot... i keep thinking im going to see his face tomorrow, with his video camera and his corny yet funny jokes... i wont lie... i miss it more than anything... but i also realize how happy my mother is and that is what drives me accept the change.. her smile brightens up a room.. and thats priceless.. she really deserves that... Greg just fell asleep on me... watching Jon Tucker Must Die.. rented it off PPV... lol... good movie i suppose.. Looking forward to going back to Cold Lake, but at this moment.. Im looking around the house, watching my mom and tim.. come in and out of their room with a gift.. each time they wrap a few.. lol.... and... even though it is different.... its beautiful... memories are a nice thing to have, but dont get lost in them.... live... remember.. but dont.. get blinded of what use to be.. and i guess thats what i was... blinded.... the 26 i go back to cold lake and share christmas with my father (tony) and my bro and sis are gonna come visit my dad so.. that should be nice... then the 27, kevin and i are sharing christmas together, so.. im looking forward to it..... my ankle is still killing me but it is improving.. sore throat of course... yes im always sick! i swear if someone has a bit of a cold.. i get it 12000 times harder/worse... I was asked today..by someone.. if i was happy.. I couldnt say yes... but at the same time i couldnt say no.. why.. no idea... can I admit im happy... is that it?.. I think I am happy..... I think Im good... am I truly happy?.. I dont know.. I know at this moment.. i do feel as though i am on top of the world.. I am feeling things I didnt know I could.. Im amazed, stunned, overwhelmed.... but to admit that... I wont... but as a secret...... Im begining to see.... what was there all along.... Im on the right track... and Im letting go of the would haves, could haves, and what ifs..... in order to move forward and be where i want to be, not only physical, but mentally, and emotionally.... so.. Am I happy.. Yes.... but i wont admit it......
and i saw the emotion in ur eyes that night you held me so tight The way you looked into my soul... and I hid it all from you.. I hid how I felt for the fear of it not being returned.. I run away from every moment you presented... yet.. i stick around.. to see the tears that build up in your eyes and you let soo freely fall.. and I wipe mine away before they even hit my flesh... I feel it to.. I feel the passion building that seems to overwhelm me each time Im around you. I feel the love that is never spoken of, for the fear of just saying something. Only when Im with you.. I know who I am.. and all the things I want to be.. For so long, I thought my soul mate was someone else.. I was told.. over and over...but never felt this emotion that has no name.. for its new.. the rebirth of my heart I can honestly say... I love every aspect of you.. I love how I am when Im with you. . I love how you are when you are with me.. I love how we are... Admitting Im Happy.. and i sit here on the verge of actually admiiting u mean someting to me and I cant help but think......... maybe this time I have found something i was begining to think didnt exist... and time has touched all and has changed us into people that might be able to make something work.... and Ill turn away for the fear that i could actually be happy and be at risk of losing it all... each day waking up with the gut feeling knowing you want the same thing with me... time is what holds us..... and I'll slowly get up realizing that I adore you more than i am ready to... that my mind is overcrowded with thoughts of us.... yet its a comforting feeling... When you look into my eyes..... and smile and the words have no need of being said because they would only get in the way of the connection that glows with colors... and I'll put my mind at ease, knowing that nothing last forever.... but... in my heart I know.... when i look at you... i found the place i was searching for all these years.... with illusions that I felt along the way.. and the people who brought me closer to you.. Ill try to convince myself that feeling this way is ok.... walking through town, I see the so many walks of life.. and the way everyone is sooo guarded and bless the heart that opens up to the world... and gets cut with every lie that isnt being sad... every whisper that can be heard throughout the town... I see the beauty very few see..I see the wonders..... this world holds.. and I see you.... And i go to run.... scared.... but stop myself in my tracks.. knowing...Im where im suppose to be.... and to say that with out looking to the left.. or a thought in the back of my mind.... allows me to stand strong... beside you... and one day we shall part... but not today.. for everyone loses the one they care for, with the help of time, and growing old.. a life conversation comes to an end... but not today...not now.. December 11 Small chat and deeper thoughtsWell, I am now living in cold lake... I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, which I must say I dont mind.. lol.. making beds and cleaning.. not that hard at all.. and get my nights free.. lol.. Also I have recently and not yet started a job, at the movie threatre lol.. but over all things are going well.. kevin and I are together and I must say its amazing... i dont know any other word for it.. and of course its amazing when you first start but.. the feeling goes deeper than that.. So I am doing good... Missing people from the VALLEY!!!!but got to chat to a few this week so thats good...
And if I took your hand would you follow me.. would you hold on with a grib that is ever so tight.. Would you trust me.. and the words that scream out without being said.. the emotions that run through these very vains... and Ill laugh another moment, as I look deeper into your soul.. and you say this is new to you and that its amazing.. but the thing you dont know.. is that its new to me.. as the cold air makes it ways down to our warm hearts.. U pull me in closer.. and the fear that hides its self so deep within.. the thought of losing something i have longed for since i knew the concept of love.. and your words come with no strings, your actions are with good reason and I cannot help but picture you when I close my eyes.. and I trimble alittle more with the feeling of your hand on my face.. and we stare into eachothers eyes and I see your thoughts and emotions with the very colors that surround you.. Ur soul is alive more than I have ever seen before.. and I will hang on to this moment another moment.. hoping you know some how that I feel the same way.. and the overwhelming feeling that sometimes leaves me speechless... As I can feel the very emotion that runs through ur blood.. to ur heart.. and this just isnt happening..... for there is a reason as to why.. and the goodbyes that are said each day, and even though they are only tempory.. I long for the day when I wake up... I will see more than just the wall and the sun that makes its way in... I hope for the day I can see those eyes that look so deeper then the surface and feel those arms that make me feel soo safe and wanted and needed.. and the fear that it will all disappear.... scares me... and the last tear is sheded with a smile of.. knowing... I am where I belong..
December 07 poems...And I walk down this path, without turning around... I sit in this room, with memories surrounding me. The moments flooding my mind. And behind every face.... you were hiding.... behind every moment... you are there... in the back of my mind... The one I thought I had lost... all those years ago..The one I thought I let "go".. the one.. I tried every night to forget but couldnt.. Experiencing new loves.. and new moments... those glass blue eyes,always where within thought but never in reach. and I always new at the deepest of my heart, we would get another say... another day to show.. what we couldnt show, when times were different and hearts were weak... And my heart is at the strongest, and my mind is at its willingness.. And all I want is the day where I can say lets go home... and it be the same place... For the nights I prayed for you.. For the nights I prayed to forget what i felt.. because the pain was too much to bare... For the mornings I wished you were there... And the things I never told you.. The things you dont know... The moments..... I wont let go... of what I know is.... I wont walk away from what I know should be... and I wont close my eyes on something I know could be... a lifetime conversation.
IF I TOLD YOU And if I told you I could see things without them being infront of me... If I told you, I could see your warmth that lies deeper within.. If I told you I could feel what happenes next before the moment arrives. If I told you... I could see your true colors.. If I told you I know when you feel hurt If I told you I know when you feel warmth If I told you I know when you feel confused If I told you I know when you feel loved If I told you I know when your not being fully honest If I told you I know when you feel passion If I told you I know when you feel Love If I told you I know when you feel.. an emotion you cannot express. If I told you I know when you feel a connection... If I told you I know when you feel lost/lust/love/passion/confusion/jealious/funny/comfortable/nervous/attraction/dishonest/trust/questions/want. Would you believe me?... and would it scare you. If I told you I can feel a strangers dream.. I can feel their pain.. as if it was my own. If I told you when I enter a room.. I can feel emotions exposing themselves.. If I told you... people hold so much and they dont even know it.. would you believe me?.. and would it scare you... If I told you.... I wished..... I couldnt... what would you say?.. If I told you.. I want to NOT know... for the want of a most humans is knowing what lies ahead, or even what is there now... but mine is not knowing..... Would you believe me?.. But when I look at you.. Im overwhlemed with the feeling and the colors.. because.. its the most beautifulest thing I have ever saw, and I dont ever want to look away. November 28 Look 2 See, Not 2 Find..SUB WU=ITH MELTED CGES CLOCK Those letters u see above was notes I wrote for myself before going to bed, after a night of drinking.. In english.. lol.. I wanted to remind myself to eat... a yummy sub with melted cheese... and the clock.. I have NO idea.... but yeah... lol good times..Well i have been working everyday and I do till saturday.. then I go on my adventure....Things have been ok, havent been sleeping but Im getting use to it.. Work is pretty good and the people are awsum.... I didnt do much today just woke up and went tanning, bank, came home took a nap then went to work.. lol... was too tired to go out... Tomorrow I work 11-7, then tanning, then chillin with my friend Jeremy.. Then Wednesday, working 3-11, then chillin with shannon... Thursday, working 3-11 and going out.. Friday working 4-12 with Anthony on my LAST shift....lol then waking up at 5am.. and heading on my way to COLD LAKE.... and I have to admit I am... excited.. nervous as hell but.. I cannot wait.. So my days right now are filled with working and making memories with friends.. lol..late nights..Not fully done packing but... lol I will get that done for sure!! And I have all my christmas gifts picked out and some ordered... and an idea for kevin... so.. ALL GOOD.. and a Budget... which is gonna be tight for a bit..shitty but... its worth it..lol.. Saturday.. wow thats close!!!I get there saturday and get my shit settled.. and then spend saturday and some of sunday with K e v v...yay.... Cant WAIT!!!.. then sunday night I'll unpack lol.... take my time! and Monday morning... I'll be... looking for a job.. lol.... WOW... I am excited hahahaha..I havent been soo sure of something... in such a long time... :D..<---thats a smile! Well I dont really know what to write about, the last 2 days I had tons to write but I didnt... so.. no idea..I guess just enojy every moment....I went to walmart the other day, ok... I swear there was only 7 girls... not counting the workers..There are too many fucking guys in this town.. and they all think they got it!!!! and heres a secret.. U guys smell bad, your dirty, your cocky, and.... U anit all that... hahahaha that was on my mind when like a 45 year old man.. was like.. Hi, sexy lady..ummm Ok dad... creeepyyyyyyyyyy.......A few shout outs to people that i havent really spoken to..
Justin--We always miss eachother on msn lol.. But Take care and I hope everything is good for you, and Ur birthday is SOON!! lol 19.. make the most of it! Mine sucked!... but had a good ending thanks to Jodie..But seriously... I miss u and talk to you on saturday.. I'll call u for ur birthday.. lol.. I dont have long distance so I havent been able to call anyone.. I miss Jamal as well.. Give him a kiss and a hug for me. Susan--Girl.. I miss u.. shopping or just chillin in the car... Sorry I havent been able to call u... ^^^^ long distance... got none... I dont know whats new or not new.. but.. when or if u read this or someone reads this tell her to somehow email me hahaha.. JessAY.. lol.. I hope dq is working for u.. if ur still there..heard u and david been partying it up at the top hat hahaha..sweeet.... Take care Bro. Chris Long.. lol. Havent spoken to u in awhile.. hope the job is going well and u and Jangelia lol... (Jana) are good! Miss u Jana.. LOL.. I miss u, you crazy person!!!! Always smiling and making me laugh.. I miss u.. Alana.. haha, hows robbins working out for ya?.. Miss having u guys over for a good time!!!! Hope all is well.. Kevin.. lol.. I know I know.. we talk but... I do miss u... lol and see u in like 4 days.. Well im tired and I work.. so I'll be in bed lol within the next 2 hours.. take care everyone..
*And Ill see the face that brings that warm feeling to my heart.. the feeling that has been lacking in my life time... the moment that I smile... The moment I know ur look is real... and ur words are true... And we'll both smile.. at what has been created.... between us... and words wont need to be said... because... there just isnt... words for this moment.. and its gonna be real, its gonna change... how I feel...******** November 25 hahaha sweet"I taste apples in my mouth but anyways" my brothers words.. lol... at 11:09pm......and continues now to talk to me about ninjas.... lol.... anyways, I just got off the phone with Jodie... and she is moving to cold lake.... o yes, where i shall be... in FEB..... no questions.. just sweeeeeeeeeet... And the plan continues.... It was nice to get an update... which rocked... My parents are gone to edmonton for the night i guess.. so I woke up and got ready for work.... I dont have a winter jacket.... so I soooooo layered it up.....7 shirts... O YES i said lucky 7... and 2 pants..... i looked fat.. but it worked.. I arrived to work.. warm.... then didnt leave till almost 5ish because i got caught up being made fun of.... from anthony.. thanks.... then went tanning.. now this is where the trouble came in.. U get 3 min until they turn on the tanning bed..... I asked her if she could give me 5min...... and she said not a problem with a believeable smile... but no.. the bitch.. and I say bitch because she knew the reason as to why i asked for 5min.. my layers.... so i get into there and no sooner taking 3 layers off... and yes i timed it because i find the most times... 3min goes by fast....... well 1.26 seconds and the bed starts up... so.. I lost like 5 min...... and i was pissed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol I laid down and when my time was done and I put back on all my layers.. i asked her why and she pretended like... I never said a word.. and i demanded she credit me 5min hahahahaha.. so yeah.. I learned to stand up for what i think is right hahahahahahahaha................ man or man I am soo tired.. moving in 7 days and I cant fucking wait!!!!!!!!!! well thats all i got to write.. really.. I got saturday off, and cant wait November 24 Another day..Well, today was such a lazy day and I sit here with my feet up on the coffee table, but I dont drink coffee so its now called the foot table.. it works..... Once again my attention is On th tv.. yup.. work 3-11, but i was late... My dearest mother offered to drive me.. So of course I accepted... its -22.. out... id be crazy not to.. so its 2pm and shes heading out and I say you still able to drive me.. and she is like oo yes Ill be back.. so Im chillin u know... and 2:55pm hits and NO MOM.. It was then I realized..... my mother had ditched me.... I had NO time to get all my winter shit on.. and well I froze my ass off, actually my legs...... but that didnt bother me at all.... I can handle the cold.. its when I saw my mom drive past me at i belive the time was 3:05... as u can tell I was late for work.... so... I got there at 3:15.... and continued to work... around 7pm I got a phone call from my mother!......... "O amy, ur at work?, sorry I forgot about driving you.. hahahahah" it was then, when she laughed, I hung up... and continued to work... lol. My mother.. forgot me.. its then.. LIES... come in handy... Amy-Marie, sorry amanda was late and everything coming out of school.. something.. the truck wouldnt start.. but naw.. she didnt care enough to lie to me.... I got.. a OO i forgot.. hahahaha... lol... anyways I soon got over it and moved on... as I ate a big greasy burger...... lol.. which I now regret... o wells... The customers.. werent so bad.. I was told I had beautiful eyes... it cheered me up... and the whole tip thingy added to my smile... So Im moving in 7 or 8 days.. depending how u count it... but 7.. lol.. I have saturday off, so gonna go down town, mall, and go to a movie and stuff.. should be fun hahaha.. umm.. im watching tv with no sound.... kind of cooler... I think thats all Im gonna write.. not sure... what else to so... over all is was a blah day.. tomrorow I work till 4, so gonna go tanning and then who knows.. friday night.. might go to the bar or just go to a friends and relax and have a few drinks, as we watch a movie that is most likely sooo boring.. meh..thats not for another like another 15 hours so.. Ill sleep on it.. well thats my stories.. lol.. just playing with my dumb sites so.. November 23 late night.. quick thoughts..Its 1:20am.... And.. Im actually just sittin here watching that 70s show.. and playing around with my 3 dumb sites hahaha.. feeling awake lol.. laughing my ass off at this show! Today was a pretty good day... I was all in the mood to write and now.... Im soo into the show.. my brother bought the Seasons lol.. So no time to write.. just show.. after show Moving in 10 days wow.... The last few days have been soo nice... I went swimming which was different.. dont really go anymore so.. it has been nice Today was my sisters birthday and I wished I could have been there but I worked 3-11.. lol.. But i bought her gifts and put balloons yellow her fav color all around the kitchen and put a big banner up that says happy sweet 16.. but made the 6 into a 7 by cutting out Wrapping paper and tapping it hahaha looked good! I hear she was happy.. but.. her face would have been soo much better... My sister is well more important to me than I thought.. Family hasnt been the most important thing in my life.. friends have... But.. I want my sister to be happy!!! My mom is.. my sister deserves soo much and I want that for her! just happiness.. so Im gonna be the bestest sister and friend to her!!!! something I should have realized earlyer but.. better late than never!.. Tonight at work I was soo zoned out.. after everyone left and it was just me and Shannon.. we both were... Had an awsum MILK SHAKE.. from A&W.. but shared it with Anthony because Milk hurts my tummy.. lol.. Id like to thank the person who created.... the CELL PHONE.... because.. well.. if I didnt have texting during work.. Id die.. so thanks to everyone who texts me and those who dont... U suck:D.. Well id like to say AN EARLY happy birthday to Justin.. 19... on December 2nd... Have a good time!!! and miss u Susan.. if ur reading this.. girl.. I miss u..havent spoken to you in awhile.. I called ya a few times... answer it... well I also like to thank the person who made STOVE TOP... i fucking love it.. hands down.. love it! and Safeway ice cream cake.. sucks!!! sorry.. but it does... these are my thoughts!! lol... Well my friend Mallory.. lives in edmonton.. well close to it.. SO WE are gonna have to make a weekend to edmonton to party it up!!! And James, happy for u!! going to be doing something u love... Also... Found out my friend Matt, isnt far from edmonton so thats kool.. everyone is slowly making their way up here.. (COUGH JODIE).. COugh.... so... thats awsum... My cell phone number will be changing DEC 1st I shall email it to all and if u dont get it.. it will be on here.. I know dont give infor about urself.. Blah blah.. ill take the risk... today was a rushed day.. and everyone was kinda blah.. minus 23.. guess thats kinda cold! lol.. OK its fucking insanly cold.. kevin.. Im gonna die in cold lake.. so U better have a plan to keep my ass warm! LOL.. My nanny is now living with us in fort mack.. for a month or more.. its nice having her around because she brings life to everything.. shes cute and nosy and loud..sometimes.. and just sooo funny.. like off tv or something! "Perfect one"<--- We are nanny LOL.. On my last few days of Fort mack working like crazy and having fun and spending time with people.. I'll be keeping in good touch, that way I wont be a loner when I come up and visit.. lol... People talk like Im already gone hahahaha.. SHANNON and JEREMY... pfff... Naw... Im in good mood!.. lol.. paused the show by the way and put some music on so I could actually write something... Met a few new people.. lol.. I know.. im leaving but still.. wont turn away people... lol.. Got in touch with some old people I "use to" know.. but it was kool hearing what they doing now... So yup... gonna watch more of the show than start to write more.. lol O yea.. gotta put a shout out to Byrce.. my old bus buddy.. was nice finally to chat to u again.. good to hear u havent changed u PLAYA.. no but seriously.. good to hear from you.. tooo tired to write now.. so.. yeah.. lol... working tomorrow 3-11...then might be going for a nice drive around town take care everyone November 21 Every Person.....Well today I worked 12-8.. I was by myself till 3ish, than shannon came in... Funny ass girl!! LOL... I met the nicest old man today.... soo sweet.. and full of life... People keep surprising me... more than anything... Its actually gonna be hard leaving Fort Mcmurray Shannon has become someone I able to talk to, and Jeremy is someone who has taught me things about me.. For some reason in my life, I have been ever so lucky to attract people that are able to teach me something.. Without them knowing.. they show me things about myself.... that i may or maynot like.... And its just refreshing.... I have met a few people here but those 2 people.. really open my eyes to things, and also make me laugh like crazy... It was such a long day but a good one... Keiths last day at work, but good old msn... and I leave in 11 days to Cold Lake, and Im actually nervous right now, but the day of I know I will be amazingly excited.... New surrounds... its a new journey for me... and of course, you have to go in with an open mind... or ur fucked lol..... Spoke to Justin today, I miss you.... and I hope everything is going well with you... Friends Forever... And i know Jodie is a little busy bee.. working like crazy... make urself happy hun.. So.... today... I woke up early went tanning then went to work and did 100% nothing lol... talked to myself and of course texted... like crazy hahahahaha.. Tomorrow is my day off, and im going tanning, then at night going swimming and to a movie.. lol.. (even though I DONT wanna go swimming hahahha).. Learning is something that has been big to me... and thats what I have been doing for the last few months.... I have learned soo much about myself and I wont lie.. Im happy, with whom I am.. I got a long ways to go.. but all in good time... Been feeling kinda blah lately but... its getting better... been realizing alot and that I have trouble letting go.... I also learned alot more, id rather not mention...... one thing... is.. I like to do things by myself, which makes people think i dont need nor want them... I asure anyone reading this... thats not the case... Well... im looking forward to, tomorrow.. should be fun.. and its my only day off so.. spending it with a good friend(s) is something... i like... Trusting people is something i havent been able to do for awhile... but.. Im trying......... Someone once taught me that everyone has something to offer you, and that no one is better than anyone.... Yes I will admit, some people are more important to others.. but my point is.. in general... everyone... is here for a purpose... and u can learn from them, even the person u cant stand........ respect..... <-u dont gotta like them...---> Been thinking alot about the future.... what it holds.. and what am I getting myself into... Regrets is one thing I dont have... I am who I am... and.. I just need to stop trying to be super woman hahahaha.... For everyone in the valley, I ask please.. be careful.. be safe.. and I know Im not ur mom.. But as a friend... I mean it.. dont take things for granted.. every little thing.......... value it.. and.... take care of eachother!!!!! dont be stupid for a moment of fun.. Please..... We dont need to lose anymore people... How many people will it take!!!!!!!!!! for others to realize.. life..... is sooooo breakable.... Life is happening... find ur path, find ur pace.. and do your own thing... November 14 Amazing Feelingits 1:07am... and i have been trying to write this for a while.... now but im playing with my cat.. who i might add stinks like crazy.... I got off the phone a bit ago with Kevin..... Since we spent that weekend together in Edmonton.. Alot of Old and New feelings have come up and have shown.. A feeling I havent felt in awhile.. and Im amazed, in how different kevin is, meaning how much he has grown, yet, how he is the same kevin... I have been working almost every day.. and just chilling... but.. I have decided to move to Cold Lake, on December 2nd.... and to be honest.. I couldnt be more happier.. I miss Nova Scotia, but Ill be back to visit... but.. Life is now.. and I have to make the most of it.. without looking bad.. but i shall glance!... Im just... living it to the fullest.. and doing things for me..and making me happy!!!! because thats something i need to do.. and I am.. I dont know what the future holds.. but i have a dream... and.... I have to explore it.. To be able to show someone all my sides, serious, joking, depth, crazy, wild, insightful, thinking, depressed, sad, excited.. all of it.. and for them not to judge you.., differently just because you do something.... for them to express to you openly of what they think and how they feel..... That to me.. is rare... something i havent found.. until now... and I didnt even know was there, because I never looked deep... never looked passed the surface, and now that i have. I cant look away... At first.. I was scared of admiting it, admiting, that my heart is working, that i feel for someone.. Scared of what people may say or think.... but if i have learned anything... its to live ur life... love those.. and love you.. and make the most of everything... and Im doin this for me.. therefore.. i only care what i think.. andthe person involved.. and Im not that great at always expressing how i feel.. or my timing usually sucks..but id like to think i have learned.. and although im human.. after talking about things for hours upon hours... and each time learning something new. and hitting a new understanding........ Id be stupid not to go for this... A chance.. not a risk.. A chance with someone I deeply care for.. and have the desire and want, and passion to learn about and know, and experience things with... and grow... and.. I see now... more than ever.. that things happen for a reason!!! and everything leads to another!... Im so glad... that.. I looked deeper.. and saw something, that can make the difference in everything... I miss you, and Kevin I cant wait to see you... Work isnt bad, its taking place everyday... lol... havent told them im leaving yet but im doing that tomorrow so.. should be exciting.. lol.. but i work with pretty good people..so.. its all good.. its getting late.. and although I want to write.. the cat really stinks and I do need a good night sleeps.. So i have been told! lol.. I miss all u guys back HOME!! the VALLEY!!!!!!! always!! a valley gurl!!! But take care everyone.. November 06 PEOPLE thanks! check out random pictures... after this...<-->second photo album
Im sitting here listen to music... brittney spears!!!! lol and great big sea.. I know I know... brittney spears.. wtf??? it was on my play list...... Sitting here with my brother talking about old times... And we all know.. we all use to like or listen to Back street boys.. lol... spice girls.... remember bloodhound gang.???? bad touch?? hahaha grade 6.. LOL..Good Charlottle, Sum 41.. Boxcar racer.... old schooll. omg.. Been thinking of being a young youth lately..... man or man.... I remember playing spot light... everyone would show up at my house.. like 20 of us... and just play... then the weekend dances.. came into play.. 15 years old.. going on adventures with friends.. just never knowing where ur gonna end up.... By the river, with a nice fire going..... then drinking.. hahaa getting shit faced and barley making it in the door!!! while laughing!!! and making drinking too much.... good times... when.. the result of making a mistake wasnt that big of deal.... making them and having fun while doing so... or telling ur parents one thing while ur out doing another.. lol... wow.. remember.. just laid back and chillin... or just sitting in a car eating and 100% zoned out.. or on ur way to a kick ass party!!!! Just meeting new people... I remember going for walks with my friend Mitch, and just talking about life and everything!!!!! or how chris and I would meet up once in a blue moon for a chat.. or me and emily swinging talking about having boyfriends and what we want from life.... I guess im grateful.... for all the memories i have because i have alot.. with many different people.. and I wanna say thanks guys!!!!!! We have all been there for eachother... through everything.. growing up, losing friends, fights with parents, boyfriends and girlfriends... everything.. and even though we may not talk as much... the silence.... speaks.... I still care and think of u.... all of you.. The feeling of excitment that use to fill ur bones..... the energy rushing, the first party u ever went to... the excitement is still there but different as we have grown... Looking at where i have been where i am and where I am going.. its amazing.... simply is.... I wanna say thanks but I dont want to forget anyone because the thing is.. I dont...
Jodie.. U taught me alot about me.. and showed me different views. and always gave me a good laugh and ur opinion.. and the best summer of my life!!! ever!Jesse-> Always asked me what was wrong, when I was hiding it.. U knew a fake smile.. and always pushed it out of me.. thanks Chris . L-> the look of understanding from across the room, ur advice has always helped!!!Justin -U Taught me life..to love me. to be grateful for now.. and that everyone has something to offer. that people make mistakes.. and love.. lasts.. and be there for those u love.. and even those u dislike.Emily. u havent been there the last few years but thats my fault.. But U were the one.. who knew me.. and was there for me.. Good times, that I will never forget Sammy-Always willing to listen. we can go months without talking... U listen!!! THANK U Olivia--Making me laugh.. Being there for Me... Advice... WOW... Trevor-Good times in math.. Being there.. Jana-Soooo positive and loving.. taught me to lighten up Alana-u and jesse are true love.. u showed me that... someone.. can make someone else sooo happy.. Jamie.M-Good chats about life... and things we want.. U have always been willing to be there for me... there and far!!!!! Shea-WOW... Chats that last... I love ur insight on things Chris Coners.. U were there for me... when I least expected anyone to be there.. U and Irish showing up at my house at 1am till 3:30am... seeing how i was!!!!! wow... Dan-When I asked for ur advice or needed somoeone to talk to.. U were there... Derek-Small chats, but.. they helped.. thanks Paul-taught me to lighten up as well.. and that a friendship... can be a roller coaster and maybe on the surface not be all that.. but i know.. u got my back.. Kathleen-U have been there for me... more times than I can count! wow... and ur advice.. is honest! Mallorey-Good chats.. and good times. Erwin-Maybe we arent the best of friends, and we barley talk... but.. when u talk about something u love. the passion.. u have.. that one time we talked for hours in the swimming pool... i will remember that... Susan.. to be me.. and to have fun... and that not everything is what it seems Matt Henstock--Good chats... sooooooo many good chats... and Im glad I got to spend time with u before u left.. and u taught me about insight. Josh Collins- U have been there for me when i needed a leaning hand, and the talks we have had... and the advice giving... and the dreams shared.. thanks.. you taught me to go for the things I want.. but dont rush Bryce-Bus Buddy.,.. light joking but always there to listen to me... Azlynn-Good times, good chats.. always smiling... Fraser-Depth to you.. yet u keep it inside.. Always making me laugh!!! thank you Denika.. Back in the day!!! remember u always Matt from law class...->Man Or man.. i wish I had gotton to know u more before u moved.. but the chats we have had.. one day we will be able to have that talk in person... U taught me soo much about wants.. Janet, Kayleigh, Claire, Steph, Sara, Sarah., Brandon, Asia, Nicole, ALL OF U.. omg.. ALL OF U... good times!!!!!!!!! partying! my little ones!!! Nick and Sarah.. thanks for not only being my boss but my friend.. good times!!!!!!! and thanks for listneing and being there for me.. David.. U taught me to laugh and be free.. and to enjoy things.. while they are there James- 3 goood days I will always remember... and the months and months of talking...U were there for me when u barley knew me... U picked me up.. more than U know.. listneing and sharing... U pushed me to say things I think... and to not beat around the bush...thanks Zach or Zack...--Didnt like ya for a while hahaha,.. but i wasnt looking at the person u were... someone with a good heart!!!! Thanks for the chats... F-rock-- that sometimes.. not knowing is better... and a laugh is soo needed... thanks good times... Mitch.. not to grow up so fast.. but.. u taught me.. that I am smart and I am capable of anything.. Ur the first person who told me.. how wonderful I was... even when I didnt believe you... U said it over and over.. Courtney M... Wow... I felt like I could tell u anything.. good times. and good chats.. thanks hun!! Joe-We talk through emails but its nice to hear someone with a dream and soo willing to go for it John-Someone with desire and want.. soo full of life... and knows that with the good.. there is bad.. Jeremy. L-.. back in the day!!! with Chris M... to laugh, to live, to love Jeremy( fort mack)->Depth.. Want.. Need... Strength.. Good chats.. and we learn... Ryan M.. lol... not as close now.. but.. good chats... and fun times back in the day... Tim. B.... I never did get to see u before I left.. But.. good chats we have had about wants.. Andrew S.. Many Good chats.. about life and love... and relationships. thanks for always being honest.. and that walk we went for.. sitting in bus stops,, Aysha->Didnt know u for long before I left.. But the short time i chiled with you, I knew u had a good heart.. and im glad u and david r together.. be true, be honest, be happy... Brandon From Dq... Thanks for the laughs out back!!!! Kevin-that connections last, and good times, fun times, serious times, can be all in one... and that.. disagreeing isnt bad.. but opens up a new window of understanding.. and one big thing u taught me when i was 15... "everything happens for a reason".. You have shown me that time may touch things... but time is something that is needed.. and I have always thought change was bad and time was bad... but in this case.. it was something needed.. and I wouldnt change a thing.. U have shown me that words..... sometimes.. dont need to be said.. a simple look... says it soo much louder and better... I know there is 100 more people... I know there is.. but its 2am and Im tired.. this is in NO order... by fair NO ODrder... Im listen to music and each song... or thought reminded me of someone.. I just cannot believe how many people i have in my life or have impacted my life.... and some arent as much.. but.. I remember everyone..even if ur not listed.. U know what relationship we share... and so do i!!!! !!!! November 01 I Be Chillin LOLits 3:31am....... im sitting here with nothing to do but watch tv and be sick.. exciting!! eh?.. haha.. never did say eh before.. but.. meh... Listen to old school music!! some people say its easier to look ahead, then to look back... and others.. say the opposite.. I find it harder to look back.. then ahead... the uncertain gives me a sense of excitment and hope.. to look back, and see what has taken place... I am beging to like fort mcmurray but still.. isnt the place for me... I find my self sooo displaced... So out of focus... Im here but not... Im zoned out most of the day, but not day dreaming... Just very relaxed.. and calm...I have worries just like anyone else, but... for some reason I have this feeling that everything is going to be ok.. and that isnt cocky of me.. dont get me wrong... just... I have this high that no matter what troubles come my way.. I will be able to handle it when the time comes on... I dont know.. Im just enjoying every aspect of everything.. learning more each day about everything... My fav thing to do... and dont think Im a loser.. but.. is to walk home from work... when i work days.. i walk home around 5:30... and the sun is going down....but still shines through the clouds.. and i have my mp3 player listening to tunes... and i just stop and get this calming feeling... umm..... Last weekend.. went to edmonton with kevv... And had a blast!!! And it was nice, connecting once again to someone that means alot to me.. I woke up monday and was sick, so right now.. sick.... my voice is shot... but.. even though im sick! I still be chillin:P lol..
 ..... one thing I do have to say is.. JODIE I MISS U SO MUCH...... I miss her! lol.. Im not gay.. but... U have been there when I was at rock bottom and u picked me up and helped me through it... U huged me that time on the road when i was on my bike!!! and believe it or not... that helped me! Ur friendship means more to me then I ever thought.. and I wish U would come to alberta!!!!!! Since U are my PIMP... lol j/k.... I have learned alot of you, since u are my other half... tell dustin to pack his gear up and come to alberta... we'll all get a place and live happyly ever after!!! Its 4am... lol.. watching tv.. so its taking me awhile to... write i guess.... I have 10000 things on my mind.. and no one is online lol.. so... still feeling like crap!!! o yeah  .. anyways.. life is good.... I cant complain... .. Im watching SAW... alone.. and Im a sucker for scary movies all by myself.. I saw, SAW 3...... with K e v v.... it was sweet.. but not as scary when ur drunk.. gosh i loved that weekend.!!! anyways.... I shall be going.... enjoy scaring myself! and falling asleep on the couch!!!!! working tomorrow... hopefully I feel better!!! |
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